You Don't Learn this in Teacher School

So there we are, a bunch of schoolies hanging out on S.'s couch after a long Thursday, full of calamari and nachos and guac and cookies, discussing Victor Villaseñor's Burro Genius. So the conversation turns to what only can be called "Awkward Moments in Teaching, rated PG-13."

So how are we supposed to handle the sixth graders who, in science, misread 'organism' as 'orgasm'?

So how are we supposed to teach eighth graders about the Non-Intercourse Act?

So how do we go on when a student reads aloud that Jamestown is in Vagina?

So how are we supposed to plough through a short story when Mark Twain, instead of having a character 'exclaim', has him 'ejaculate excitedly'?

Onward and upward, dear dedicated educators--red-faced, perhaps, but onward and upward.