Ugh.

I kind of would like to pretend it didn't happen, but it did.

I am used to positive connections with individuals and entire classes. But today it was clearer than ever that I haven't connected to one of them. I am bummed out.

About 15 years ago, I had an English class that had traveled together since elementary school. They were so difficult that their 6th grade promotion ceremony was cancelled. They didn't care; they were so focused on each other that school was a place to hang out together, and everything else was background noise. I'd hoped, being young and idealistic, I could reach them, fix them. Nope. I was sad, but it was impossible to take this personally since I had been hearing about this class's idiosyncrasies for over three years.

Today on the school news, I was a featured teacher. And I heard mocking voices from my class as they watched it. Wow. We weren't on the same team? This is my 2nd toughest to reach class ever--almost as hard as long ago. I had hoped against hope that maybe, maybe, we could grow that wonderful "We"-ness that a positive class has, but the smirks and mocking tones make me sigh.

It's no fun, being the odd man out in your own classroom.